The American cultural definition of "Love" is that warm and fuzzy feeling we get when "the other" meets our expectations and fills our needs. Rewatch any Rom-Com film or TV episode and you will see that form of "Love".
That is definitely not the version of "Love" that the Scriptures (and Jesus' interpretation of them) deliver. Many people over the years have tried to redirect us into the Godly, unconditional "Agape" version of "Love" - people like Leo Buscaglia, C.S. Lewis, M. Scott Peck, and Thomas Merton. Here is a summary of their teaching:
Love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth. (Peck)
1) Love is an action, not a feeling
2) Love leads to growth
3) Love does not seek any reward other than joy in the other's growth
4) The "spiritual growth" that Love causes is tangible and recognizable
We can (and should) love our enemies when we teach them that conflict is always wasteful and that peace rewards all of us.
For more support for this idea, speak with your pastor or spiritual advisor. The material behind this idea of "active, constructive Love" is enough to fill a library.
